Life Lesson #3:
I tried camouflage. Surely the elderly woman with unnatural old woman odor would be too ancient to be able to see me if I stood completely still behind my maternal body guard. I watch her weathered eyelids drift over her yellow eyeballs continuously. Her eyes lingered on various objects around us before they finally landed on me. My hiding skills were not up to par because she said, “Oh who is this lovely dear? What’s your name honey?” My mother pushed me in front of her forcing me to surrender. She told me to say my name. I said “Makala” softly. The old woman pretended that she actually cared what my name was and she asked “Kayla?” and I got mad and shouted my name so the deaf old bad could actually hear me. Then I ran back into safety behind my mother’s legs. The old woman said “Oh Makala! That is a beautiful name.” Then the conversation got awkward. I was four. I didn’t know what to say and no kid ever does.
When an old person sits on the bench watching little kids play, eventually one will walk by. They ask for the child’s name which forces the kid to debate whether they shouldn’t talk to strangers like their parents taught them. The kid thinks for a while and decides that the stranger is almost dead anyway and couldn’t hurt them so they decide to respond. All of this thinking for a child takes a long time so there is a lengthy awkward pause. Finally the kid responds “Pigslyworth.” That is a terrible name but the dumb old lady would have to respond kindly or she’ll have a crying Pigslyworth on her hands.
Old people are liars. They are also mean. They don’t actually believe that “Lucy” is a beautiful name. It is too common. Old people also aren’t interested if you are an ugly child. If there was a pretty Lucy and an ugly Lucy, the adult would ask the pretty Lucy her name and would then be obliged to lie and make Lucy feel real good about her “beautiful” name. If the adult asked ugly Lucy her name, well they wouldn’t ask ugly Lucy anything because she’s ugly.
If mean old people just stopped asking for names little kids wouldn’t have to be lied to and bullied for the rest of their lives. Being told that I had a lovely name as a child made me very excited but after the torture everyone calls “middle school” I have realized that my name is terrible and common and that no one likes me. That old woman lied to me. I just wish for no one else out there to have the same terrible experiences as me and for no one who has been told that their name was beautiful to get their hopes up.
I tried camouflage. Surely the elderly woman with unnatural old woman odor would be too ancient to be able to see me if I stood completely still behind my maternal body guard. I watch her weathered eyelids drift over her yellow eyeballs continuously. Her eyes lingered on various objects around us before they finally landed on me. My hiding skills were not up to par because she said, “Oh who is this lovely dear? What’s your name honey?” My mother pushed me in front of her forcing me to surrender. She told me to say my name. I said “Makala” softly. The old woman pretended that she actually cared what my name was and she asked “Kayla?” and I got mad and shouted my name so the deaf old bad could actually hear me. Then I ran back into safety behind my mother’s legs. The old woman said “Oh Makala! That is a beautiful name.” Then the conversation got awkward. I was four. I didn’t know what to say and no kid ever does.
When an old person sits on the bench watching little kids play, eventually one will walk by. They ask for the child’s name which forces the kid to debate whether they shouldn’t talk to strangers like their parents taught them. The kid thinks for a while and decides that the stranger is almost dead anyway and couldn’t hurt them so they decide to respond. All of this thinking for a child takes a long time so there is a lengthy awkward pause. Finally the kid responds “Pigslyworth.” That is a terrible name but the dumb old lady would have to respond kindly or she’ll have a crying Pigslyworth on her hands.
Old people are liars. They are also mean. They don’t actually believe that “Lucy” is a beautiful name. It is too common. Old people also aren’t interested if you are an ugly child. If there was a pretty Lucy and an ugly Lucy, the adult would ask the pretty Lucy her name and would then be obliged to lie and make Lucy feel real good about her “beautiful” name. If the adult asked ugly Lucy her name, well they wouldn’t ask ugly Lucy anything because she’s ugly.
If mean old people just stopped asking for names little kids wouldn’t have to be lied to and bullied for the rest of their lives. Being told that I had a lovely name as a child made me very excited but after the torture everyone calls “middle school” I have realized that my name is terrible and common and that no one likes me. That old woman lied to me. I just wish for no one else out there to have the same terrible experiences as me and for no one who has been told that their name was beautiful to get their hopes up.
Moral: Don't let boring/common names get you down
